A few years ago I was on my way to a Sunday afternoon party when I remembered that I needed to bring some snacks. Taking the same route I took every day to work, I knew I would be passing an Aldi, and decided to stop there. I parked, grabbed my “Aldi quarter” from the ashtray, … [Read more…]
Kind of depressing that a five-year-old is a better singer than me. Although I can pronounce my Ls and Rs. So I got that going for me, which is nice.
If you were shocked last week when I told you I was a 60-year-old virgin, hang on to your hat for this week’s news! I’m pregnant! Teachers always warned us it could happen the first time, and they were right. I came home from my first Erma Bombeck Writers’ Workshop on Sunday great with …. … [Read more…]
I was so careful. I did my very best Santa imitation… and I’m not just talking about my bowl full of jelly. I made a list and I checked it twice, and even crossed things out as I packed them away. I have slippers and four pair of shoes, including sandals for the balmy 39 … [Read more…]
No one would mistake me for a virgin. Even if you didn’t know about my husband and three children, there’s my obvious postpartum physique, which I have not only maintained, but enlarged upon, for over 30 years. And yet, I am a virgin. In fact, this week a bunch of us virgins will gather in … [Read more…]
I’m going out of town Wednesday and thought it would be a good idea to clean out my purse before I left. That way I don’t have to worry about getting a ticket for not stopping at the weigh stations on the highway, since my pre-purge load was roughly equivalent to that of an 18-wheeler. … [Read more…]